Giving Up
by Galadrielle18
Summary: First in the "Worth Living For"-Series. Darius vanished before Horton came to kill him and another Priest was killed. An unexpected love blooms between two of the eldest as Watchers plan to punish Adam. Miracles can still happen... Warning: slash


Title: Giving Up

Author: Galadrielle

Fandom: Highlander

Pairings: Darius/Methos, Duncan/Richie

Summary: Darius vanished before Horton came to kill him and another Priest was killed. An unexpected love blooms between two of the eldest as Watchers plan to punish Adam. Miracles can still happen...

Warnings: slash, mpreg and explicit description of maleXmale action

Date: 11-03-2006

Chapter one

Methos was lying on Joe's couch reading his new book as he suddenly felt MacLeods buzz. Strangly he could always identify Mac in a crowed of immortals since Bordeaux. Since the shared Quickining of his Brothers Kronos and Silas.

Now he was really alone. Mac had only slowly come to accept what he had done in the past but it happened. After two month of complete silence between them one morning Mac, Richie and Joe stood in front of his door and after they rescued him from suicide they talked for hours.

Methos had explained what had happened to make him part of the horsemen and when his feelings changed about them.

FLASHBACK

He had been sitting on the floor before his bed and was slowly running a knife down his arms. Because it wouldn't kill him permanently he wasn't even sure why he did it, but the pain distracted him from the reality. Just for a short time but it was better than feeling it day and night. He had taken a liking to slitting his wrists before the night came so he wouldn't have to dream of the ulimate betrayel he had commited against his Brothers and MacLeod and Joe...

As he felt a buzz in his head he knew that MacLeod had come to take his head when he felt a second immortal near. 'probably with Richie as support.'.

„I will make it easy for you Mac." So he stood up and opened the door for his judges and executioners.

The knife had still in his hand as if forgotten he sat on the couch and lay his head back on the cushion. His arm was still dripping with blood. Methos had discovered that his immortal healing wasn't strong enough to cure him every time he cut himself. In the beginning he had been strong enough but after a week of constant cutting, dying, alcohol and non-eating it was very weak, he was very weak. But that wouldn't matter in a few minutes. He would be free of everything ones MacLeod was here to finish it.

„Adam, are you here?" asked Joe's voice from behind him. So they had brought Joe to finish his cronicle?

„Why did you leave you door open, old man?" this was really Richie with Mac.

„So you wouldn't have to barge in and destroy it for the next one that will life here." answered Methos calmy. The three turned towards his voice but they couldn't see him because the room was dark. As Joe tried the switch it wouldn't come on.

„What happened to you light? Didn't you pay your bill?" Now MacLeods teasing voice with a bit of curiosity in it.

„What for? I knew you would be coming for me soon..." he was just tired and the knife began to feel too good in his hand as he lifted it to cut his arm again.

Duncan saw the glint of Metal in the light and took his sword to defend his friends if it should be necessary.

Joe and Richie had seen the glint themselves but couldn't believe that Mathos would threaten them. What had he said about coming for him?

„What do you mean, Adam? Why would he be coming for you?"

„To finish it. To destroy all the horsemen he has to kill me. Cassandra wanted it so he will surely want to please her" he finished with venom in his voice. Couldn't he just do it?

„I'm not here to kill you, Methos. Let me get a few candles so we have a bit of light ok?" as Duncan recieved no answer he made his way over to the cupboard he knew Methos stowed away his candles. While searching for them he saw in the dim light the mess the whole appartment seemed to be in. And there lying on the kichen table was Methos sword, the Ivanhoe.

With the candles and lighter he went back to the living room wheer Joe and Richie were still standing on the same spot. Duncan then moved forward and set all candels on the couch table to light them up. What he saw made him cry out.

There on the couch sat Methos with a bloody knife in his right hand. His left hand was dripping with his own blood and he kept on running the knife over the wounds. Mac couldn't take it anymore and stormed over to grab the knife and took it without much resistens. That surprised him but then he saw how emancicated Methos looked. ‚Like he hadn't eaten since...'

„Methos! What is this? Have you gone mad?!" Joe screamed. Richie could just look at the oldest immortal. He was shocked. Methos has always been so strong and he did survive for 5000 years!!! But now...

„Why? I just wanted to make it easier for you. Come on highlander take my Head! I will not fight back! Just try to think about this...you will be a hero! You destroyed the four horsemen of the apocalypse. And got the oldest of us without even...."

CRACK

Duncan MacLeod had never in his life been so shocked and angry. His friend thought he had come here to kill him! And he wouldn't even fight it! Duncan knew than that he had taken to much time to come to terms with Methos past and Caspians and Kronos Memories. It had been terrifying seeing Methos killing all these innocent people, how much he suffered from Kronos, how the other three had raped and beaten him over the years after he let Cassandra escape. How he betrayed them and locked Kronos in a cave. The madness resulting in a obsession with Methos. How Kronos found him, with Methos thinking it was MacLeod. And now it seemed as if Methos had been alone and harmed himself the whole time! He just couldn't take it! So he had slapped him hard. It was a sign for Methos weakness as his head rolled back and he lost consciousness.

„Oh god what has he done to himself?" Joe couldn't take it anymore. This was still Adam his watcher collegue and Methos his friend.

„Richie, carry him down to the car. Joe, pack a few of his clothes and take them down to the car. We won't leave him here. He is suicidal. You can all stay at the loft and help him. I won't lose him!" With that said he began cleaning up the lood on the floor and tiding up a bit.

Richie took the old man over his shoulder and was surprised at how light he was.

Fifteen Minutes later the entered the loft with Methos in Duncan's arms.

„I think we should bath him first. He didn't take care of himself. Joe will you help Richie while I prepare something to eat. He really needs it."

Richie wasn't happy about having to bath another man ‚Mac would be another thing'

They undressed him and were shocked as they saw the damage Methos had done to himself.

„Richie, tell me if i am wrong. But shouldn't the wounds be healed by now?" Joe asked. Immortals healed differntly but it had been over an hour since the arrived at Methos'.

„Yeah, you are right Joe. Some of these wounds seem like they are days old. But that can't be! Why isn't he healing!!!"

Mac came running as he heared Richies distress.

„Shit! Get him clean and then we will have to use a first-aid-kit. Joe do you have one in your car?"

„Yes. I will get it." With that he stumbled out in a hurry to help his friend.

„Why hasn't he healed , Mac?" Duncan could hear the fear in Richie's voice.

„I saw this once, Richie. On an immortal that wanted to die so badly he killed himself regular. Always cutting his wrists and shooting himself in the head. Slowly he really began to die. He didn't heal anymore and still cutting himself. One day he stayed dea for a week. As he came back he ran away to the train station and beheaded himself on the railroad. There was no Quickining left in him. I think Methos wanted to make it easier on me to take his head. But he is my friend. If I hadn't waited so long and gone to him the other day he would be alright..."

Richie was shocked. A suicidal immortal? Methos was one? That couldn't be! The old man was the best at surviving and now he just gave up?

tbc


End file.
